ZZZZ

Congratulations, you scored ZZZZ — the rarest player-dead personality on Earth. 99+ unread messages in the group chat? You can scroll past them like none of them exist. But the moment someone drops the @everyone notice 'half an hour to the deadline', you slowly rise from what appears to be a thousand-year-old burial chamber, calmly type the word 'on it', and 29 minutes later submit a piece of work that is just barely passable. Yes — you only truly come alive when the single highest-priority command in your operating system fires: the deadline. You don't make a sound, but when you do, the universe pays attention. ZZZZ has proven a sacred truth to the cosmos: sometimes, doing absolutely nothing means doing absolutely nothing wrong.